I remembered a book that I already read titled Demian: The Story of Emil Sinclair's Youth written by Hermann Hesse. There was a motivating inspiring dialog between Sinclair and Pistorius. The statement has been already encouraged me. Well, even my life is even getting worse but never mind, it would get better somehow.
"You too, have mysteries of your own. I know that you must have dreams that you don't tell me. I don't want to know them. But I can tell you: live those dreams, play with them, build altars to them. It is not yet the ideal but it points in the right direction.-- Don't forget that! You don't go running to prostitute. You must have dreams of love, you must have desires. Perhaps you're made in such a way that you are afraid of them. Don't be. They are the best things you have".
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